The readers that take time out to read the blog will know that in a few posts i have tried to explain my past. Now while i am not no shit hot writer or famous actor or even an educated professor, i try not to mince my words while always trying to polite and respectful. I didn't learn much when young but i learnt respect and have always tried to hold myself to the highest standards possible. I will return to this in a moment.
Anyway, tonight it seems i have been stabbed in the back by people i classed as "friends" (amazing what a slip of tongue does), this wont be the first nor last time it happens. I trusted and respected these people and was always willing to take one for the team.
But it seems that behind my back a different truth was being spoken.When you class someone as a friend that means you will give your life for them, it means you respect, trust and be honest with them.
So back to the headline, yes, i am thick, i don`t have qualification in anything (part from driving license) , i don't have the good learning experience. I once blogged about about my glass ceiling and how i don't think i can smash it, its not for wanting to, its because i am to far behind, i struggle sometimes (most the time) to have proper conversations with people on net/twitter/blogs because i cant put in to words what i want to say and do it in a way that expresses the right emotion.
I try my best to impress you all, and yes i probably try to hard and end becoming a right pain in the arse, but its because i trust people enough to feel confident to ask them. I said before that you may see my questions as silly and easy or no-brainers but for me they are not, they might be badly worded but i always try to ask questions that give me the answer i seek.
I sit and watch some days and so wish that i had the opportunities that you had and some have in front of you, bloody hell i would just like a GCSE ffs. Yes i get frustrated, i spend some nights asking myself "what if.."
From where i came from to where i am now is better and progress, but i want more , i want to improve.
I was trying to earn your respect.
So yes, thickos hurt to!
But don`t worry, it`s only Billy.
For what it's worth Billy, I have a great deal of respect for you and I strongly believe that you have a gift for communication, for cutting through the crap and for recognising what is important in life. Your spelling and grammar are not the best, but so what? It's the content that counts, the honesty. It is not always comfortable or easy to read, it is sometimes quite raw, sometimes engagingly naive; but it is invariably worth taking the time to read your stuff. Keep going man, you're doing good. You have my best wishes and support if you need it.
ReplyDeleteWow....wow...Talk about laying it out there Billy Boy. A very wise man once said to me "If you can count your real friends on more than one hand, then you are a lucky man indeed" It was my Dad. He was right.Real friends don't let you down; those people who do are merely "froo froos" who decorate our life. Entertaining, maybe pretty but ultimately unimportant. X
ReplyDeleteFirst. Stop worrying about what other people think about you. You are what you are. If they don't like it, that is their problem, not yours.
ReplyDeleteSecond. I am almost as much a thicko as you ... that is if exam results are to go by. I got 4 O levels and that was not enough to go on and study A-levels. So I went into the bank at the lowest rung (at first.) It wasn't until I had long left school that I found I had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. I became like a sponge for it. Throw me as much as you like.
Third. Look back. Four years ago you were not posting. One year ago, you did not have a blog. Yet yesterday/Friday you had 21 responses to your caption contest. Can you imagine being able to do that if you put yourself back in time a year or so back?
Four. Don't fish for approval or compliments, earn them. You have shown you can do it. The road is bumpy and you will get some knocks. You have had a few in your life, so these should be like fleabites.
Five. You do best at what you do in life, if you are being yourself. What others say, or do, is for them to live with.
I am deliberately not being comforting but, rather, realistic. A thicker skin may be all that is required here.
First: you are not thick! You understand politics & life far better than most; that takes intelligence
ReplyDeleteSecond: you are not a pain in the arse! Your blogs are both sensitive and enlightening.
Third: I agree with Schrodingers_cat! Be YOU! Don't worry about being YOU! Find your own environment where YOU fit. Create YOUR own environment. Be selective about who you want to be around. Take control. Never, ever give up. Change whatever you need to. Take risks.
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. The harder you try, the luckier you get.
You have more supporters than you realise!
What they all said!
ReplyDelete