A little while ago i wrote a post asking if it was more important to be nice or nice to important.
I said that phrase kept me grounded.
Since then i have come to different view, it may be important to be nice, but it doesn't get you very far. see i always try and be polite and try and help if i can, but i always ask questions, i want to learn, improve.
But i wanted to do with manners and politeness.
But then again maybe its because i am naive?or a pain in the arse.
I am soon off to Africa or two weeks. Have not been for well over a year so will not be posting for a while.
ReplyDeleteOne of the advantages of going there is realising how much worse other people's existences can be. I always come back thinking how lucky I am compared with these people, many of whom are lovely and hard-working, despite claims from some quarters to the contrary.
This has relevance to your question. There are two types of way to look at things: subjectively and objectively. Both are valid and both are necessary. Unfortunately, the world has become very self-centred.
I would recommend that you consider matters with yourself removed from the picture. Think about other situations in which you do not figure This might be by reading or watching a program about an interesting subject of which you know little. Question the rights and wrongs of that situation, discover what rules appear to exist in other areas of life and question those. My experience of doing this is that you find that the world, the universe even, keeps on coming back to the same point. That there is a circle of knowledge and eventually it all begins to link up. Nothing religious or mystical. Just logical.
You can then bring this outside information into your world and seeing how it fits. Outside ideas can freshen up your outlook.
One final point. Civility costs nothing. I always extend it at first. If I feel it is being abused, I say so. Other people have said that they know where they stand with me. That is fine. I have some excellent friends whom I disagree with completely on almost every subject. That does not make me hate them or them me. If the respect is there you can bridge that difference. If someone is rude or abusive, you have to handle it. Some will tell you to walk away, others to fight it. I will use either method depending on the circumstances.
I said one more point - there are two! Humour is very important. Use it when you can. It sometimes avoids the bad situations arising. I try and use all those things which I have mentioned. And I can still sometimes get it wrong!!!